A Halloween Prayer Against Silliness
A Halloween prayer:
Lord defend us from all perils of this Halloween season. From weight gain, from carbohydrates and sugar coma, from ludicrous amounts of money spent on inflatable ghosts, werewolves, vampires and all such. From broken fillings and crowns, protect us. From too many pumpkin dishes and pumpkin spice drinks, shield us.
Defend us from outfits we should not wear for the sake of dignity. From body paint. From tights far too tight. From falling over tiny dogs dressed like spiders. From angry cats in shark fins. From wee monsters, ninjas and princesses spewing viral infections, save us.
And lead us safely away from every manner of slutty fire-fighter, naughty police-officer, trampy secretary, tawdry nurse, lusty lawyer, bawdy chimpanzee, promiscuous pirate, lascivious god or goddess and any and all things both degrading and also incredibly silly.
Amen.
Wisely written, Brother Edwin. I join you in praying that the wayward herd following foolish among us will harken.
Selected verses from Proverbs 2 (for brevity):
3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.
9 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path.
20 That thou mayest walk in the way of good men, and keep the paths of the righteous.
11 Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:
12 To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
13 Who leave the paths of uprightness, to walk in the ways of darkness;
14 Who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of the wicked;
15 Whose ways are crooked, and they froward in their paths:
16 To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
17 Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.
18 For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.
All light, sweet, and amusing--except your mention of pumpkin spice drinks, which ought to inspire terror in any normal-functioning human being.