Christians and Mental Health Care
There's no shame in getting help.
This was originally published by the SC Baptist Courier, where my monthly column is called ‘Wholly Healthy.’
https://baptistcourier.com/2021/07/wholly-healthy-mental-health-crucial/
I have spent my life in the church and from about age 15 on I was one of the dreaded ‘PKs.’ That’s right, a preacher’s kid. Right up there with MKs (missionary kids) in our capacity for disruption, PKs can be a handful.
But one of the great things about being a PK was having an insider view of the life of the church. Discussing that could take far more words than I have for this column, but suffice it to say I have been an observer of church-goers and clergy for decades.
I am also a physician, a job which involves constant observation and assessment of human behaviors. And one of the things I have noticed about many Christians in general and many pastors (and their families) in particular is a suspicion about mental health care. This is unfortunate since the pastorate is a very stressful and psychologically complex vocation.
I am confidant that no small number of believers could benefit from time with a good counselor or psychiatrist. Because just like everyone else, they are stressed and wounded. And while it’s fine for pastors to talk to pastors and for church members to seek counseling from pastors, the hard truth is that many pastors just aren’t prepared to be counselors or therapists, and their advice can sometimes come down to ‘have more faith, pray and read your Bible!’
Those are sound words, but they often fail to help others to seek the source of emotional difficulty or learn to think differently. Remember what St. Paul said, ‘be transformed by the renewing of your minds.’ The way we think matters, and I have encountered so much toxic thinking in the church that needs to be retrained or simply abandoned in order to alleviate fear, depression and suffering.
What is ironic, however, is that Christians who are suspicious of psychiatric care or counselors are seldom so about medications prescribed for depression or anxiety. There is certainly a place for psychiatric medications, but hopefully not merely to cover over emotional pain like an anesthetic. While many are wonderful medications, some also have significant side effects, which I see regularly.
In particular, anxiety medications which are in the class called ‘benzodiazepines’ (think lorazepam, diazepam, clonazepam…Ativan, Valium, Klonopin respectively) are very effective for serious anxiety. However, they are also highly addictive and very sedating; withdrawal from them can be as perilous as alcohol withdrawal. They are not good for long term anxiety but serve best in short courses. And in the elderly, they can accelerate dementia.
Mental health is crucially important and its management can be very complicated. Christians suffer from mental illness as they do from every other medical affliction in this fallen world.
So if we are willing to take appropriate prescriptions, we should also be willing to consider seeking help from counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists. It is no shame, or sin, to do so. And it may help liberate us in ways unimagined.
I know from personal experience, and speaking only for myself, benzos and Wellbutrin gave me more serious withdrawal symptoms than Oxycodone tapered properly.
Speaking from experience the church does not want any mental illness in the pews. They are also impotent to help. My son is not welcome or if he does come he knows he is flanked by security. I reached out in the beginning but it was going to be much more work and effort for the church and his illness was “too much” for them to take on. There was no confidence in the blood of Christ or healing. My son has “lack of insight” so he does not belive he has any illness and does not understand why we cannot see what he sees and hears 24/7. He is under constant torment and paces like a wild animal locked in a cage. He never stops talking to “them”. They may be demons or the devil or angels. He even belives he is omniscient at times. He gained 50+ lbs while on meds, and now has lost 60 because he thinks the food is poisoned or spit on. He has learned the system and sees the lack of care or consideration for him as a person so he refuses to trust anyone. It is true, he is releases the day insurance will not pay. He has learned to trick Dr.’s, vomit medication and cheek it as well. I have tried MTHFR gummies and those are the only gummies he will not eat. He seems possessed to me. But if I even suggest that to another christian they do not believe he could be possessed. As if one of Jesus’s main healings has just dissapeared and it does not exist. I can not find a church or pastor who believes in casting out of demons. There are some but only if you come to a huge weekly or weekend conference, heck he cannot sit still for 3 miniutes let alone some group healing ministry. So hope is dashed at every corner for our family and with each day he seems to grow more distanct and more dangerous Do you know that there are no places for him to live? NOT ONE, well there are 12 across the county that cost 35,000 per month, 3-6 month minimum and he must be williing and participate. After 5 years of waiting he was accepted into the Gateway program in Greenville. He was kicked out for inappropriote language within 2 weeks. He did not want to be in Greenville is what he said, I do not know but he lashed out at women there. That was a huge loss for us. We had hoped he would learn and find a job and a friend. What ever is in his mind has a hold over him and it acts almost like an additction. He would not know what to do without all his voices, “people” as he calls them. Millions of them tormenting him night and day. TV’s must be covered so they cannot see him. He was such a beautiful delightful rambunctious athletic and kind kid. He also thought he was not good enough, some form of rejection had happened to him I think around 4 years old. He came home and told me to throw him in the garbage, he was no good. I knew the teachers of this 4 hour 3 day a week class and I know it was not them. I know it was not us or his siblings, but he stopped drawing that week. Some kid said something and it stuck and grew, I just could not see how he could not except how wonderful he was and how much we loved him. He was so attractive people would stop and say “what beautiful children you have, and one looks like a little Brad Pitt”. To think at 4 he internalized he was no good devestates me. We did all we could to encourage him and support him and even get him tested for any learning disabilities. The 3000$ we spend came out “in all my 25 years I have never seen a test result like this one”. He could encode a word at a 12th grade level but could not decode the same word at a kindergarten level”. She said the results were not normal but with the highs and lows he did NOT qualify for extra time for tests etc. He was supposed to wear glasses but refused, he still refuses but legally he should wear them. He is too self concious and the voices tell him 24/7 how bad he is.
He has memorzied huge portions of the bible and throws them out of context to us. I am just a broken hearted mother of a lost son, mentally, who no one seems to want to help or has any idea how to help. The church especially, they really want clean, tidy , sinners who hide it well in the pews. I find it hard to join or meet people now because they always ask about your family and kids. I do not want to talk about that to anyone who has not been there with us for the the last 12 years. It is exhausting and it has effected my mental health as well. It is hard for a mother to not blame herself for not taking him from that class when he was not ready and wanted to stay home while I homeschooled his brother. I want mental health to allow neurologists and brain scans and all the technology to apply to my son, but because he hears and sees things we do not they will not test him medically. It took 5 hospital stays before they even ran a blood panel on him. 5. I am the one who harrassed one Psychiatrist for the MRI and genome tests. He refused to treat my son but did order the tests. My son is not the only lost boy, there are thousands, they are on the streets or in jail or on drugs. There is no place for them to go, and there are more and more from all the forums I belong to. Where is there help except in prayer? It is a lonely path and it is a broken one to boot.