Implications of "Man Flu"

Maybe not what you think...

Flu season should be winding down and good riddance for sure. This has been a rough year with all too many sick folks and all too few doctors and hospital beds.

I wrote something many years ago in which I referred to it as ‘The Flunami.’ (https://www.greenvilleonline.com/story/opinion/contributors/2015/01/03/ed-leap-flunami-hits-like-wave-gone/21210471/).

In my internal calendar of the ‘medical year,’ it’s time for the respiratory season to go away but unfortunately, time for what I call ‘ATV’ season to begin. Illnesses with fever and shortness of breath will be replaced by injuries from motor vehicles, construction and timber work, swimming/boating, and as Summer arrives, the fights that seem to accompany higher temperatures.

But before flu fades away, I’d like to make a comment about what is commonly called ‘Man Flu.’ I have heard many wives and girlfriends talk about how their men simply can’t manage viral illnesses. That they are whiny and needy, and when they’re sick they go to bed acting as if they’ve been afflicted with Ebola. ‘Good grief, Bill has a bad case of the man flu and I just can’t deal with it. He’s such a baby!’

Fair enough. There are, doubtless, weak men out there. And I suspect that some of those weak men collapse whenever they are sick. I have met them and been wholly unimpressed. But in my mind, those truly weak men are those who abuse or neglect their women and children. Those are the men who won’t work, or who barely work. Those are the men who live virtual lives with online porn and who get high all day while their women work. Such behavior is contemptible.

But, that’s not the whole story. Because when we talk about ‘Man Flu,’ we need to remember a few things; especially when the term is applied to men who actually do work hard and try their best.

It may be that they are hit hard by viral illnesses because their immunity is lower from physical exhaustion. Long hours, hard, dangerous labor, difficult weather conditions, poor sleep, too much caffeine and poor nutrition based on fast food all add up to poor healthy.

Many men also carry a heavy burden of anxiety and stress because they’re concerned about providing all that their families need. Generally, they don’t talk about it. They just keep it inside, mulling it over, tamping it down, war-gaming life so that they can find ways to make it work for the people they cherish.

If I didn’t have the wonderful wife I do, I’d be exactly the same. She has always taken great care of me, physically and emotionally. (And she’s a counselor, so bless her heart…)

I will also, as a physician and diagnostician, go so far as to suggest some other symptoms of broader ‘man flu.’ What are some unique symptoms of being a man?

1. Suicidal behavior. While women are more likely to attempt suicide, men are more likely to kill themselves. 80% of all suicides in America are males. https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/facts/data.html

2. Men are 2-3 times more likely than women to die of overdose. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/men-died-overdose-2-3-times-greater-rate-women-us-2020-2021

3. Men are about ten times more likely to die of occupational injuries than women. This seems related to the fact that men tend to do jobs which are inherently more dangerous. (This doesn’t mean that women don’t die on the job; in fact women seem to suffer more on-the-job homicides. But on the balance, men are much more likely to die at work.) https://www.bls.gov/news.release/cfoi.t01.htm

Women have a hard time. They too frequently find themselves providing the majority of child-care as well as working outside the home. Women have higher rates of death from cardiovascular disease than men. Women are more likely victims of violence than men.

But life for men isn’t necessarily a picnic. It may be (as the article below suggests) that men see flu or other viral illnesses as a chance to take a break from the typical stoic behavior expected of them.

It also may be that testosterone makes their symptoms more severe, whereas estrogen makes symptoms less severe in women. (I’m not making this up; again, check the links in the article below.)

https://www.artofmanliness.com/health-fitness/health/man-flu/

All I mean to say is that when women roll their eyes about the ‘man flu’ their men are experiencing, it may be worth taking a moment to give them some grace.

Because so many of the the men I see, day in and day out, are doing their very best, sick or well.

And if an extra day of sickness helps an otherwise great man to press on and keep caring for the people he loves, then maybe now and then that’s OK.