It's Probably Not a Spider Bite

Including a PSA from the spiders themselves...

A web covered bit of paper was recently left in my mailbox. It was sticky, and there was no postage attached. In the back of the dark mailbox I thought that I saw tiny eyes.

It was scrawled in what can only be a crude attempt at English, but by untrained hands.

Since I have a zoology degree, I immediately recognized this as having been written by an arachnid. It would be clever of me to say that it was written by a ‘Writing Spider,’ or ‘Orb Weaver,’ but as everyone knows, they’re not out quite yet. They are awaiting the end of summer/early autumn. This is perhaps why the writing was harder to decipher. (I mean, not all spiders can write…Charlotte was a rare gem.)

I will translate as best I can:

“Humanz, we spiderz not bite you much. Plz stop say we do this.

Spiderz bite flyz and other bug fuud. Humans too big. Like humans.

Humanz make tree and rock webz where we go when wind cold.

Spiderz eat your bad bugz and listen to music. Like Halloween.

We watch Hairy Pott boy and giant spyder.

We love Shelob on shiny box too. Make feel empowered.

Humanz smell bad like sugar and sweat and beerz.

No bite them.

Plz tell other human not kill spiderz.”

I don’t know how the spiders know about our aversion except through their own legendarium of deadly encounters with man. Maybe they watch our computers and TVs over our shoulders. (Yes, based on how many there are in the world, they’re probably nearby.)

Lately there has been a common social media theme decrying the deadly, and largely untrue, dangers of the Brown Recluse. Doubtless this upset the spiders, resulting in my note.

Here’s the warning I’ve been seeing online:

The Brown Recluse Spider is the most

dangerous spider that we have here in the USA.

A person can die from it’s bite. We all should know what the spider looks like.

Send this around to people you love, because it is almost summer time.

People will be digging around, doing yard work, spring cleaning, and sometimes in their attics.

Please be careful.

Spider bites are dangerous and can have permanent and highly negative consequences.

Here’s the reality. Yes indeed, there have been extraordinarily rare deaths from bites of the Brown Recluse, mostly in children. The venom can cause significant tissue damage. Generally they simply result in pain at the site and later, discolored wounds that take a while to heal. The best thing is generally to see your doctor and keep the wounds clean, covered and give it time. Antibiotics usually don’t help. Rarely a surgeon needs to manage the wound.

In most of the US, the only other spider bite that matters is the Black Widow, which causes a painful bite and diffuse pain all over the body due to muscle cramps that come from the venom’s neurotoxic effects. The pain is significant enough that the resultant abdominal pain has been mistaken for appendicitis. Bites can require pain management in the hospital for a short time but symptoms usually resolve in a couple of days. There is an antivenin but it has its own dangers and is rarely used.

Despite what it says on Facebook, there are pretty much no permanent consequences from the few actual significant spider bites we see in the US.

(I can’t speak to horrifying places like Australia…)

Other than these two, most spiders don’t cause any problems at all. Without spiders we’d be overrun with insects which some believe might even result in famine due to crop devastation.

We often see patients in the ER who have various rashes, or skin infections, which are automatically attributed to ‘spider bite.’ I usually ask, ‘did you see the spider,’ and the answer is almost always ‘no, but I know it’s a spider bite.’

Frequently skin abscesses, red areas with infected pus underneath, are blamed on spiders. However, these are often due to staphylococcus infections (sometimes what’s called MRSA, or Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus). These develop for a variety of reasons.

But they are NOT from spiders…spiders would find this sort of thing disgusting.

Sure, not everyone likes spiders. Walking through their webs in the forest or house can be disconcerting. I took a later summer South Carolina hike once with my youngest son, Elijah. We returned hot, sweaty and feeling encased in spider silk. (But, of course, bite free.)

My lovely wife will not fall asleep if she sees a spider on the wall at night. Although we have both been stung by wasps in the sanctity of our rooms, but not bitten by spiders. Summer in the South is entomological combat.

Full disclosure: once, when the children were small, I actually sniped a large spider from far up our bedroom wall with a pellet gun so that my bride could sleep soundly. The kids were small and egging me on and honestly, the wall is high and it was a decent shot! (I know, gun safety and all that…)

Anyway, there’s no reason to spend a summer worrying about spider bites when there’s so little to worry about. And when there are so many other more important things to be concerned about like water safety, sunburn and avoiding potato salad that’s been out all day at the church picnic.

So remember, ‘Plz tell other human not kill spiderz.’

FYI, Here’s a nice WebMD summary of spider bites if you’re interested.

https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/what-to-know-about-spider-bites