17 Comments
Jun 9Liked by Edwin Leap

As a dermatologist, I say Amen! When patients tell me they have a spider bite I have to fight the urge to ignore everything else they tell me. They have a whole narrative about the encounter with the critter they didn’t even see. It often starts WAY back, “We’ve had a place at the lake since I was a teen” Sometimes, however, they will include in the rambling arachno-babble that they’ve not been able to afford their insulin for six months which can be mighty important. Thanks for this PSA.

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I'm sure that's a common complaint for you! We recently had a patient in the ED who had been referred to surgery by primary care for a 'spider bite.' It was actually a pretty clear Lyme rash. Sigh.

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Counterpoint: ticks are spider-adjacent arachnid allies. Ergo, kill em all.

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My husband did get a spider bite on his chin, as diagnosed by his physician. There was a scar that resulted, but his beard now covers it.

He won’t kill spiders, though. He has Scottish ancestry from the Bruce clan, and there’s that legend about Robert the Bruce and the spider. So he “rehabilitates” them by moving them outside.

Frankly, they don’t bother me much. Cockroaches, on the other hand…

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I usually don't kill them but escort them outside. Of course, our log house is rather porous so they probably come right back inside.

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Interestingly, the Spider English cited in your article looks surprisingly like the Corgi English used in countless memes on social media.

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FYI it also bears resemblance to a language I identified in the ER years ago, and termed 'mumble drunk.'

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Spoken by the patients or by the attending physicians?

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Maybe it's a lingua franca of creatures! Hey, I'm no linguist. I just know what I read...

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Au contraire. You are obviously a master at Arachnidal Eye Dialect.

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Love the sentence starting “Summer in the south…”… how true. Hope you will not mind my reusing it!

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Feel free! Spread the word. The struggle is real. We have yearly infestations of Asian lady beetles, stink bugs, gnats, carpenter bees and last fall I'm pretty sure an Orb Weaver was trying to catch either one of us or the cats because it made it's web across the back door, b y the railing where the cats ate. And don't get me started on Armadillos....Thanks for the comment!

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Jun 9·edited Jun 9

I work in a prison. Every day an inmate comes to medical with the dreaded “spider bite”.

Never mind your “bite” is more likely the result of picking at something with your dirty hands, or another inmate picking at that “bite” with their dirty hands.

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I can't imagine how many 'spider bites' you see! My hat's off to you.

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I so enjoy all your articles. I once was bitten by a spider on my cheek which left a brown discoloration to this day. I too am deathly afraid of spiders. Even more than cockroaches 🪳

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I really appreciate your comments AnaMaria! I'm sure I'd feel the same way.

Someday I'll write about cockroaches in ears....

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