It troubles me that the younger generation is more concerned about continuing their fun and games than raising children. Too much time in front of video games? Too much time without their own parents' attention? Too little time providing help caring for siblings? How has this generation become so self-absorbed?
Ed- a through exegesis on a vital subject . A few additional observations; other than those who had had to bury a child, ive seen no more profound grief in patients and friends than those who are unable to conceive or have children. Young adults without children should pay attention to this-there is a message there about something they are missing .
I’m glad you explicitly linked having children with maturity as an adult and as a spouse. That’s not to say of course one can ‘t be a mature adult or a worthy spouse without children, but children are the humbling crucible that compel us to grow up or, unfortunately too often, fail as as parent spouse and individual, if you take the assignment seriously, as you must, even more daunting than residency or practice if only because your role as a parent never ends or takes days off. By the same token children can either break a weak/challenged poorly constructed marriage or provide the steel and commitment for a lifelong partnership that sustains through every one of life’s challenges and then beyond and after. Accordingly, everyone should aspire to be a parent-even Warren Beatty work up to this realization at age 59. But be certain your marriage is strong before you enter into this fray- and hope you aren’t “blessed” with twins. Space your kids out as much as biology and career will permit…having multiple kids in diapers, or the terrible twos x2, or two adolescents in same junior high school is a gothic experience that will make any adult question their sanity getting pregnant ! lOL….and as when You are pulling a night shift, stay focused, stay intentional, …if you simply place your patients needs or your kids first, you can never really ‘fail’ a patient or attending. And when you at a loss what to do, or even say, sit by their side and simply hold their hand. Even the most scared , frustrated patient or child is unable to rebuke/deny this most human cod ti on and the expressionthat, no matter what, I will still “attend” to you.
And NB as with anything in life, there can always be too much of a good thing. Unfortunately children only come in integers- most people i know would have liked to have had the option to have 1.5 or 2.5 kids or 3.5 kids - we never seem to have enough children and then the next one pushes us over to chaos, stress and just another job. It’s hard these days with two careers and deferred years due to training and education, but dont be in a rush to have another kid until you’ve fully absorbed the impact of a kid and what their needs will be . Special need kids often take 4 or so years to declare themselves.
Finally, you missed entirely, though understandably , the REAL reason one has children…..to be a grandparent, unequivocally the greatest gig in the world. I hope you will have that blessing very soon in your life. Odds are good with 4 kids in their twenties. So Use this decade to do all those selfish things you put on hold as young parents-it will be your last chance at true self-indulgence and freedom 😂
Beautiful writing, as usual. For us, the benefits of parenthood have been a hundred times the cost.
I agree with you, and Elon Musk, that population decline may be a bigger problem than overpopulation.
It troubles me that the younger generation is more concerned about continuing their fun and games than raising children. Too much time in front of video games? Too much time without their own parents' attention? Too little time providing help caring for siblings? How has this generation become so self-absorbed?
Ed- a through exegesis on a vital subject . A few additional observations; other than those who had had to bury a child, ive seen no more profound grief in patients and friends than those who are unable to conceive or have children. Young adults without children should pay attention to this-there is a message there about something they are missing .
I’m glad you explicitly linked having children with maturity as an adult and as a spouse. That’s not to say of course one can ‘t be a mature adult or a worthy spouse without children, but children are the humbling crucible that compel us to grow up or, unfortunately too often, fail as as parent spouse and individual, if you take the assignment seriously, as you must, even more daunting than residency or practice if only because your role as a parent never ends or takes days off. By the same token children can either break a weak/challenged poorly constructed marriage or provide the steel and commitment for a lifelong partnership that sustains through every one of life’s challenges and then beyond and after. Accordingly, everyone should aspire to be a parent-even Warren Beatty work up to this realization at age 59. But be certain your marriage is strong before you enter into this fray- and hope you aren’t “blessed” with twins. Space your kids out as much as biology and career will permit…having multiple kids in diapers, or the terrible twos x2, or two adolescents in same junior high school is a gothic experience that will make any adult question their sanity getting pregnant ! lOL….and as when You are pulling a night shift, stay focused, stay intentional, …if you simply place your patients needs or your kids first, you can never really ‘fail’ a patient or attending. And when you at a loss what to do, or even say, sit by their side and simply hold their hand. Even the most scared , frustrated patient or child is unable to rebuke/deny this most human cod ti on and the expressionthat, no matter what, I will still “attend” to you.
And NB as with anything in life, there can always be too much of a good thing. Unfortunately children only come in integers- most people i know would have liked to have had the option to have 1.5 or 2.5 kids or 3.5 kids - we never seem to have enough children and then the next one pushes us over to chaos, stress and just another job. It’s hard these days with two careers and deferred years due to training and education, but dont be in a rush to have another kid until you’ve fully absorbed the impact of a kid and what their needs will be . Special need kids often take 4 or so years to declare themselves.
Finally, you missed entirely, though understandably , the REAL reason one has children…..to be a grandparent, unequivocally the greatest gig in the world. I hope you will have that blessing very soon in your life. Odds are good with 4 kids in their twenties. So Use this decade to do all those selfish things you put on hold as young parents-it will be your last chance at true self-indulgence and freedom 😂